A series of studies reported last year in the academic journal, Psychological Science, found that bosses who abuse employees tend to be the result of two factors:

1. Being in a position of power over others
2. Feelings of incompetence and self-doubts of their ability

It takes both of these to produce a true bully in the manager’s chair. This goes deep, psychologically. The abusive boss’s ego may be threatened, not necessarily from more competent employees but often from deep-seated feelings of inadequacy.

I’m hearing more references to bullying in management than I used to. I don’t think it has necessarily grown but we seem to be more sensitive to its presence. One study indicated that in the U.S. 37 per cent of employees claim to have been been abused by their boss. This includes being yelled at, dressed down in the presence of peers or given the silent treatment. I had a client organization where a manager hadn’t had a face-to-face conversation with a particular employee for over two months…and their offices were right next to one another!

What can you do if you report to a tyrant? The same studies found that one proven strategy, at least for the short run, is to flatter your boss and affirm his (or her) strengths. They found, however, that there was a downside to this approach–it can reinforce the boss’s delusion of competence and distance him further from the painful truth.

Besides, that strategy feels phony. Your flattery will probably be false. Here two suggestions if you are faced with a toxic manager. First of all, be extemely careful! You may well be dealing with pathological behavior on his part. Secondly, if you can’t engage him in an adult-to-adult conversation about how you are experiencing him and the impact it is having on you, accept that you are not in a position to get him to change. It’s beyond your influence. Go over his head to his boss or to a neutral party, such as your HR department.

You will be doing your organization–and your boss–a huge favor.

During the facilitated debrief discussion an interesting issue emerged. One woman said that, when the process seemed to hit its highest point of chaos, she sorely wanted to get up, grab a marker, approach the flip chart, and start leading her colleagues by capturing what they were saying and organizing it into a coherent strategy to solve the problem more quickly.

I asked her, “Why didn’t you do that?” She replied, “Because I didn’t want them to think I was being too controlling. I wanted them to see me as a team player.” Notice the assumption she had made about how they would perceive her well-intentioned act to contribute her particular strength (organizing) to the success of the group effort.

I turned to the group and asked them, “If she had stepped up and done this, (1) would you have seen it as controlling and not being a team player and (2) would it have helped you solve the problem faster than you did?” They all agreed that they would have appreciated, not resented or judged, her action and that it would indeed have helped them perform better.

This was what we in the training field call a “teachable moment.” The woman who had hesitated to step forward in the exercise learned to question her assumptions and, if her spirit of intent is genuine, to take the risk of contributing where she has a skill. The group learned the importance of making it OK (i.e. safe) for individual members to step forward and take such risks. Both innovative thinking and improved group performance requires this.

Have you made it clear to your staff that will support them when they bring their particular skills and perspectives forward when they have an idea or a better way to proceed? You may think you have but don’t assume that they have received the message!

A few years back my colleague Dave Riveness wrote a nifty little book called The Secret Life of the Corporate Jester. In it he draws an intriguing parallel between the need kings of olden days had for a jester and the need modern senior leaders have for people to speak the truth to them, to point out where they have blind spots to truths/facts that could hurt the organization. Sometimes the blind spots have to do with what the company is or isn’t attending to. Other times (“Danger, danger, Will Robinson”) they are about the leader himself/herself.

Depending upon the level of adult development of the leader, being one to speak truth to power can be dangerous, especially if you have no official devil’s advocate mandate to do so. Even with such permission, being a modern jester is an art. To quote David:

The true skill of a jester lies not only in being able to recognize blind spots, but also in understanding how to assist others to become aware of them, without bruising egos.

…the essence of jestership: the ability to access truth lying hidden and undiscovered in the blind spots.

David then very creatively looks at some important blind spots leaders should be aware of and be open to exploring. He does this by briefly recounting a number of classic stories and images from history, myths, fairy tales, and fables. A couple of examples are The Sword of Damocles, The Rosetta Stone, and the Flight of Icarus (too close to the sun). After each story he invites you to identify the blind spot to which the story is referring before he makes some linkages for you.

This book speaks to leaders at a remarkably deep level because the images of the jester and the many fables are rooted in archetypes contained in the human condition (e.g. self-delusion, the raw fear of consequences from making a decision, acting on unverified assumptions).

Not only will this book help you reflect on your own blind spots, but you might even find yourself reading to your team Dave’s thumbnail on The Sword in the Stone and challenging them to draw out the learning for your unit or organization.