Reading Jessica Bennett’s recent piece in Newsweek, “You Are Your Own Glass Ceiling,” I got to thinking. The content of her article is not new but the issue she raises needs to be repeated and kept in the conscious awareness of both men, as well as women. She talks about the dilemma of women, especially women leaders, who struggle with “yes, be a ‘go-getter’ but be nice at all times” and with “Yes, accomplish but don’t brag about it.”
While, as Bennett states, girls outnumber boys in academic achievement and graduation and school leadership positions at all levels of the education system, something happens when the mass of these qualified individuals flood into the world of work. Women make up only a quarter of law firm partners and are still famously underrepresented in senior management positions in our medium to large sized organizations.
In her article she quotes from Rachel Simmons’ book, The Curse of the Good Girl: “…being cautious and apologetic impacts just about every standard measure of success in the workplace: money, accomplishment, recognition.” The source of limitations placed on women’s success in the work world, of course, extend much wider than just what girls learn are the communication and behavior patterns expected of them.
We talk about there being many ways to lead, from Attila to Ghandi. One thing we men leaders need to realize is that, for women, the window of”acceptable” optional styles is much narrower. They typically walk a fine line between:
- expressing their assertive, challenging achievement orientation and being stereotyped as a tough bitch
- engaging in supportive, empowering coaching approaches and being seen as too soft
As with all humans confined within the experience of being one gender, I as a male can’t really feel what women experience as they–every day–navigate the treacherous waters of these two dichotomies. In the role of a manager, however, men can recognize that women do face these dilemmas and be aware of how they, as the male boss, might be contributing to it.
